Dom Casmurro

by Machado de Assis

LXV - A Secret

The sabbath arrived, and other sabbados arrived, and I ended up liking the new life. I alternated the house and the seminary. The priests liked me, the boys too, and Escobar more than the boys and the parents. At the end of five weeks I was almost telling my pains and hopes; Capitú restrained me.

"Escobar is very my friend, Capitú!"

"But you are not my friend.

"It could be; He told me to come here to meet Mama.

-Does not matter; you have no right to tell a secret that is not only yours, but mine, and I do not give you permission to say anything to anyone.

It was fair, I kept quiet and obeyed. Another thing I obeyed in her reflections was, on the first Saturday when I went to her house, and after a few minutes of conversation she advised me to leave.

"Do not stay here any longer today; go home, I'll be there soon. It is natural that D. Gloria wants to be with you a lot of time, or everything, if she can.

In all this I showed my friend so much lucidity that I could not fail to mention a third example, but the examples were only made to be quoted, and this is so good that omission would be a crime. It was my third or fourth visit to the house. My mother after I answered the thousand questions she asked me about the treatment they gave me, studies, relationships, discipline, and if I hurt something, and if I slept well, all that the tenderness of the mothers invents to bounce the patience of a son, he concluded, turning to Jose Dias:

-Sr. Jose Dias, do you still doubt that a good priest will leave here?

-Most excellent . . .

"And you, Capitú, interrupted my mother by turning to the daughter of Padua who was in the room with her," do not you think our Bentinho will give a good priest? "

"I think so, madam," said Capitú, full of conviction.

I did not like conviction. So I told him the next morning in the backyard of the house, remembering the words of the evening, and for the first time the joy she had shown me from the moment I entered the seminary, when I lived with longing. Capitú became very serious, and asked me how he wanted us to behave, since they suspected us; she had also had disconsolate nights, and the days in her house were as sad as mine; he could inquire of the father and mother. The mother even told him, in secret words, that she should not think of me any more.

"With D. Gloria and D. Justina, I am naturally cheerful, so that it does not appear that the denunciation of Jose Dias is true. If it seemed, they would try to separate us more, and perhaps they would not receive me.... For me, our oath is sufficient that we are to marry one another.

That was it; we should dissemble to kill any suspicion, and at the same time to enjoy all the previous freedom, and build tranquil our future. But the example is complete with what I heard the next day at lunch; my mother, telling Uncle Cosme that she still wanted to see what hand she could give to blessing the people to Mass, said that days before, when she was talking about young girls getting married early, Capitú had said to her: to marry must be Father Bentinho; I hope he is commanded! "Uncle Cosimo laughed with grace, Jose Dias did not desorb, only cousin Justina frowned, and looked at me interrogatively. I, who had looked at all, could not resist the gesture of the cousin, and I tried to eat. But I ate badly; I was so pleased with that great dissembling of Capitú that I saw nothing else, and as soon as I had lunch, I ran to tell him the conversation and to praise his cunning. Capitú smiled gratefully.

"You're right, Capitú," I concluded; Let's fool all these people.

-It is not? she said ingenuously.