The Merry Wives of Windsor

by William Shakespeare

ACT IV - Scene I

Windsor. A street

Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS QUICKLY, and WILLIAM

Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou?

Sure he is by this; or will be presently; but truly
he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the
water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my
young man here to school. Look where his master comes;
'tis a playing day, I see.

Enter SIR HUGH EVANS

How now, Sir Hugh, no school to-day?

No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.

Blessing of his heart!

Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits
nothing in the world at his book; I pray you ask him some
questions in his accidence.

Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.

Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your
master; be not afraid.

William, how many numbers is in nouns?

Two.

Truly, I thought there had been one number
more, because they say 'Od's nouns.'

Peace your tattlings. What is 'fair,' William?

Pulcher.

Polecats! There are fairer things than polecats,
sure.

You are a very simplicity oman; I pray you, peace.
What is 'lapis,' William?

A stone.

And what is 'a stone,' William?

A pebble.

No, it is 'lapis'; I pray you remember in your prain.

Lapis.

That is a good William. What is he, William, that
does lend articles?

Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be
thus declined: Singulariter, nominativo; hic, haec, hoc.

Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark: genitivo,
hujus. Well, what is your accusative case?

Accusativo, hinc.

I pray you, have your remembrance, child.
Accusativo, hung, hang, hog.

'Hang-hog' is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

Leave your prabbles, oman. What is the focative
case, William?

O-vocativo, O.

Remember, William: focative is caret.

And that's a good root.

Oman, forbear.

Peace.

What is your genitive case plural, William?

Genitive case?

Ay.

Genitive: horum, harum, horum.

Vengeance of Jenny's case; fie on her! Never
name her, child, if she be a whore.

For shame, oman.

YOU do ill to teach the child such words. He
teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast
enough of themselves; and to call 'horum'; fie upon you!

Oman, art thou lunatics? Hast thou no understandings
for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? Thou
art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires.

Prithee hold thy peace.

Show me now, William, some declensions of your
pronouns.

Forsooth, I have forgot.

It is qui, quae, quod; if you forget your qui's, your
quae's, and your quod's, you must be preeches. Go your
ways and play; go.

He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.

Adieu, good Sir Hugh.

Exit SIR HUGH

Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.

Exeunt