The Broom, The Shovel, the Poker and the Tongs

by Edward Lear

I.

THE Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs,
They all took a drive in the Park,
And they each sang a song, Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
Before they went back in the dark.
Mr. Poker he sat quite upright in the coach,
Mr. Tongs made a clatter and clash,
Miss Shovel was dressed all in black (with a brooch),
Mrs. Broom was in blue (with a sash).
Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
And they all sang a song!
 
II.

“O Shovely so lovely!” the Poker he sang,
“You have perfectly conquered my heart!
“Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong! If you’re pleased with my song
“I will feed you with cold apple tart!
“When you scrape up the coals with a delicate sound,
“You enrapture my life with delight!
“Your nose is so shiny! your head is so round!
“And your shape is so slender and bright!
“Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
“Ain’t you pleased with my song?”
 
III.

“Alas! Mrs. Broom!” sighed the Tongs in his song,
“O is it because I’m so thin,
“And my legs are so long—Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
“That you don’t care about me a pin?
“Ah! fairest of creatures, when sweeping the room,
“Ah! why don’t you heed my complaint?
“Must you needs be so cruel, you beautiful Broom,
“Because you are covered with paint?
“Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
“You are certainly wrong!”
 
IV.

Mrs. Broom and Miss Shovel together they sang,
“What nonsense you’re singing to-day!”
Said the Shovel, “I’ll certainly hit you a bang!”
Said the Broom, “And I’ll sweep you away!”
So the Coachman drove homeward as fast as he could,
Perceiving their anger with pain;
But they put on the kettle, and little by little
They all became happy again.
Ding-a-dong! Ding-a-dong!
There’s an end of my song!